Unlearning the Myth of "Wasted Time"

I'm 31 now, but since the age of 15 years old, I knew I was meant to pursue fashion.

For reasons I won't get into, I ended up taking a different turn first: Getting a bachelor's degree in Broadcasting with an emphasis in Audio Production. I was miserable the entire time. When I finally graduated, I couldn't shake the heavy feeling that I had messed up- that I had wasted years reaching for something that was Not mine. I felt defeated.

So, while I was still young and hot in my early 20's, I decided to become a stripper.

And honestly? It was great.

During university, I had been part of the Mycological Society of San Francisco. I was knee-deep in the mushroom world, completely fascinated by it. That fascination led me to move to Humboldt County to pursue mycology and botany at Humboldt State. It was a true passion of mine- just not as deep as fashion.... and so history started to feel like it would repeat itself. I didn't like the feeling that something wasn't right. So, this time, instead of going through with it, I dropped out. Because I couldn't shake that familiar feeling: I'm wasting time again. Something isn't right, I'm reaching for something that isn't meant for me.

By then, I had mastered pole dancing, knew how to safely forage for edible mushrooms and understood the basics of audio. How could it be that I was 27 years old with an understanding of Everything I ever had interest in Except for fashion design?

When I finally decided to stop running in circles, I moved down to Southern California. I enrolled in the Fashion Design program at Long Beach City College. Sure, it wasn't the grand, elite level I had always envisioned, but it turned out to be an incredible program.

From there, everything clicked.

I volunteered backstage at LA Fashion Week 3 seasons in a row. I spent six months as a costume design intern at the Long Beach Playhouse, and was learning to drape, draft patterns and sew at LBCC. And eventually, I landed a job at a local tailor shop where I now work as a Fit Specialist/Tailor's Assistant.

For the first time in my life, I couldn't be happier. The feeling of dread disappeared, and my anxiety melted away. It turns out none of it was wasted time- all my past experiences offered a fresh perspective on my design aesthetic. My vision boards have dimension, and my styling choices have edge. It took me some time, but I realized something crucial- none of those chapters were throwaways. They built the lens I design through today.

My unique relationship with Form, Texture, and Structure:

• Audio Production: Precision, editing, layers, frequencies, timing

• Mycology: Organic forms, Decay, growth cycles, intricate textures, nature's architecture

• Tailoring & Design: Fit, structure, drape, physical transformation.